R E V I V A L please ^

Is it Worth it?

2010-10-29T18:34:00.000-07:00

I'm almost afraid to explore this. I'm afraid of what I might find, that all this while, I was, in fact, wrong.

It could have been me that took her to the corner to share a moment of intimacy. I saw it coming, but never expected what impact it would have on me. When she whispered to him to indicate her intentions, and when he agreed and took her aside, that was it. The rest of the night was pretty much gone, I seemed to have been sucked into an abyss of confusion at best, and regret at worst.

But is it all worth it? This Cause that is Christ? When earthly dispositions seem to be in endless war with morals and values almost entirely contrary to human instinct? When this battle against pleasure in the only tangible world we know just simply does not make sense where the result is deprivation from such harmless and plainly natural acts?

Faith cannot be the sole reason behind the inhibition prima facie. The majority of the inhibition roots in my discomfort in the intimate pursuit due to inexperience, inexperience due to attempts to upholding the faith. So at its core, it really is the faith that has prevented my enjoyment of this area of life.

Right now, I'm not sure its worth it. But maybe thats why I need the faith, because without, I would never be able to experience a real possibility of returns that far exceed my expectations of my sacrifice.

I need Him to assure me. And to satisfy me. How sinful and useless am I that I need so much to be satisfied.

Crack the Shutters

2010-01-23T17:13:00.000-08:00

i dunno where to begin. this is the first post in literally years, and i only feel compelled to post something cuz i need to reorganize my thoughts in an attempt to figure out my future.

To take the Gap yr or not?

WHY I SHOULD TAKE THE GAP YEAR:

1) Because I need to be more employable to businesses after i graduate from uni, and the only way about it is to have biz experience, which right now i don't have.

2) To have the assurance of coming back to uni for final year of law school (with possibly) no commitments to a biz.

3) Gain as many contacts as i can before i graduate.

4) Be able to try a form of biz with no expectation of the "long haul".

WHY I SHOULD NOT TAKE THE GAP YEAR:

1) Not graduating with friends.

2) Might loose motivation and essential study skills.

3) Hassle of moving belongings around.

4) Exposure to potential financial risk with regards to parent's ability to fund tuition fees.

5) No guarantee of useful business experience.

At the end of the day, all evidence seems to point to the fact that i SHOULD take the Gap year, as the benefits outweigh the disincentives. A few years down the road, once everyone has graduated and friends and i are in the working field, I know i will thank myself in retrospect, i dont see why not.

I thank God, whatever the case, that the pickle I'm stuck in isn't so much between a rock and a hard place. Rather, its between the clearly marked, well-travelled gravel path (the status quo) and the picturesque, less-travelled dirt path (the could-be). Both ways, i won't be in a disadvantage.

But do I need a firm offer from a biz before i decide to begin my gap year?

YES:

1) Without a firm offer, i could end up bumming around and wasting time instead of graduating sooner.

NO:

2) So what if i don't graduate sooner? Won't I at least find a job to do? Or at least attempt setting up some form of business? The attempt of searching to establish myself with in itself be valuable experience. And I am not one to bum around anyways.

So it seems my logic and reason points to the fact that I should, in fact take this year off.

This is one of the most significant cross roads in my life. Probably just one down from choosing to study in Canada. This has significant impact in my future career, and I need to figure out what I'm all about, what i actually am passionate about, and what i am called to do.

2006-09-06T09:25:00.000-07:00

yup, i know i know...

its been ages since i posted anything... well, just so u know, i had a super long post last night, but blogspot cocked-up, so i had to postpone writing one tonight..

but since i'm going in army camp tmr, i'll leave u guys to look at my pics in my foto blog which link is on the right panel along with my other links, and this one sentence.

if anything happens to me in army, just so u know.. i love u... maybe not as much as i love my mommy, but i love u nonetheless.

2006-06-11T13:35:00.000-07:00

Grad was awesome, I'll talk more about it when I get my pics posted..

But for now, i've just come to a realization of wat a horrible gentleman i am.

For one, my date constantly said, "ladies first" only to have that whooosh right over the head.

And i consistently forgot about allowing my date to sit first, much less pull the chair out and push it back in for her, before taking my own seat.

And i walked up the bus before she did.

And i walked in front of her

And i asked my friend to go explore without considering the fact that his date was not done with the meal.

... the only thing remotely gentlemanly i did was open doors for her and stand between a her and a bunch of drunk guys.

I've charted 'low' my mother's Gallent Analysis Barometer. To our chagrin.

Well, that stinks... i think i need to attend Gentleman 101.

But wat my mom said was awfully true. She says i've been much too independent and on-my-own the past couple of years, that gentlemanly treatment of a lady (the Western practice, not the innate one) has not been put in use.... almost entirely. :P

Apparently i'm a nice guy. But not gallant. Oh, the Horror!!! (right....)

So i've resolved that from now on i shall endeavour to practice and master the convoluted ways of the Gentleman, till i have effectively swept every female specimen of her feet without the use of dough, charm, or Prada. The second of which i am going to find especially difficult to surpress.

Haha anyways, i'm just going to be more conscious about my the way i treat ladies from now on. (to those ladies who know me, kick me in the nuts if i've done something outragiously ungentelmenly when we're hanging)

Thats all Folks !!!

2006-06-08T18:44:00.000-07:00

So school had ended. Yes it has! Yesterday was the final day of high school.

What began as ACS primary to ACS barker and then to Saints, is all over in its dramatic but inevitable end. As excited as I am, i dont quite understand my sadness toward it all. maybe its because school was the framework of my entire life, or at least the life that i know it to be. Its akward that i have to use the word 'was', never realizing that it even.... well... was.

So anyways, school ended in a rather happy note. thankfully :). firstly, this year's grad prank was a raging succes. I'd even have to say the most successful of all the years i know! these were the excellent pranks, (well done Grad '06!)

1) thousands of styrofoam cups placed in the teacher's staff room, covering the entire ground, leaving no space exposed other than from in between the cups.

2) Barracade the teacher's parking area and malignantly declareing to the bamboozaled teachers waiting at the parking entrance, "GRAD PARKING, BIATCH!" (at least the parking spots were filled with worthy cars this time)

3) All grads given a self-declared Casual day, i.e come to school in watever clothes, uniforms discouraged.

And... here's the catcher...

4) 3 smart cars and another really crazy nice car brought into the upper level of the Great Hall, and placed there for exhibition. Amongst which was a DJ table fully equipt with turn tables to greet the flabergasted witnesses. Outside the entrance to the Great Hall were a mini cooper sport with the canadian flag printed on the roof and a sport SUV. (an engineer was brought in to design the installation and removal of the cars in the hall)

5) NEXT to the entrance to the great hall, was a self made beach! the grads brought bags upon bags of sand from a beach and made themselves a beach party right by the entrance of the school!

So yeah... the last day was awesome.

But somehow the most moving thing that happend that day was after the very last class. Every student had to bring the chairs and tables from the last class to the gym for examination formation. After which i just sat in the empty, half-lit classroom, staring into the emptiness and silence of it all, reiterating in my head.. thats it... thats actually it, damn it...

thats it. its finally ... over...

Thank you Lord :)

2006-06-02T11:37:00.000-07:00

This, is too weird

There is less then 4 days of school left.

Of high school

The LAST 4 days of my ENTIRE high school life.... left...

The life which begun with entering ACS(primary) to entering ACS (br). To entering St Georges.

In short...

the only life i knew.

Is over, in a simple matter of FOUR days or 96 hrs or 5760 mins or 345600 sec.

And by the time this is published, those numbers would have already been reduced.
And by the time u've read this, those numbers would have already been reduced even further.
And by the time i've posted my next post, those numbers would have been reduced to a measly Z-E-R-O.

Anyways, i'm just waiting for my silk screens to be primed for printing... in the mean time, i've found some fotos of my old art work on my school account (which would ultimately be discontinued/severed/oblitorated in no less then a month)

so here goes.

Weight of the world

This is incomplete, and i dont intend to complete it. haha. my teacher hates this piece. haha

Portrait of a woman (print)

This was the final of three very gruelling attempts. I'm totally in love with this. So much so that i wont remove it from my portfolio case. haha. it was a carborundum print. (dont bother googling wat that it, its so unknown a technique, even google doesnt have it... i think)

Potrait of a woman (plate)

So this is the inked-up plate with made the print above. I refused to wash the ink off, i think the plate looks like a piece in itself.

hangers

A prototype study for my final exam piece. its too bad fotos cant capture prints very well. it looks gross on this foto, but i'm lovin' this piece.

Abstraction

I'm soo lovin this piece. I used this piece amongst others for my art uni interview. definitely gonna get this framed when i go back to singapore.

_________

havent named this one, but this is of sentimental value. Was my very first carborundum print.

Bali

This is the first of my 3 studies which led to my most sucessful peice this year (of which i have no foto of :P) its called bali only cuz this piece was inspired by a piece i bought in bali.

this is study number two. it was from this piece that i realized how valuable my art teacher was. This pisce has the most unbelieveable number of layers underneath it, from over painting. haha. but i love it.

my friend ricky. Art class buddy and rigg scholar. (remember my post about this scholarship?)

Ricky's brother, Henry... oh and friend, matt kalkman

keep pillin'

2006-05-28T01:36:00.000-07:00

for today's obligatory 3 random facts:

1) apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking u up in the morning. (surprise surprise)

2)The first owner of Malboro died of lung cancer.

3)all US presidents wear glasses. Some just didnt like to be seen in them in public.

Today was a really eventful day. It events just seemed to keep pillin and pillin.

First, my DAD called in the morning, which was a rare miracle in itself. out of the blue. And after speaking to him for about 8 min, he calls agains, and this time we conferenced called by sister in LA and bro in singapore, how cool was that!!! It really really made my day.

We talked endlessly, i never realised how frustrating conference calls can be cuz everyone can speak together at a time. But u know, this was the very first time i realized how politically inclined all 3 of my dad's children has become. its pretty amazing. I mean, the kids can actually argue with their dad now! Our conversation felt so intensly political, if anything. Even my quiet, nothing-to-do-with-me brother praticipated! it was awesome..

the second mose eventful thing that happened was extremely physically gruelling, intensely hactic, incredibly amusing, frustratingly busy and refreshingly blessed...

all at the same time...

I volunteered at the local district fair, to face paint under my church's tent. I face painted at my school fair not too long ago, and realized i loved it and was particularly gifted at it too. So i tot this was an awesome oppurtunity to finally serve at church.

Anyways, the journey to church was literally a journey through mountains and valleys. The district was called"lynn VALLEY" and my home is at the other end of the vallies. It want too bad if werent for the fact that the car was being used and i had to bike up/down there.

Suffice to say, i had my month's work-out trudging up the valley and my month's heart's content of exhileration speeding down the valley, nearly flying forward off my bike.

So i finally got there and spent 30 mins looking for the tent in the dense crowd. When i finally got there, these 3 old ladies were concealed in a swarm of little children and their parents, with the occasional high school girls ;).

As soon as i introduce myself as Ivan, they get up and offer me their sets, obviously wanting to escape the horror of painting on more faces.

Haha, anyways, i took over 2 of the three, and never painting so many faces in my life. well, obviously... i think by the end of the day, i painted 20 faces. which is very many, mind u.

As stressful as it was, it was still incredibly fun, and i would do it again. They were mostly little girls though, so i did lotsa butterflies and flowers. i was really hopin to do a tiger, the most fun in my opinion. But there was this little girl who asked for flames! haha that was pretty funny. And there was the little 7.5 months old baby girl, the cutest thing on the face of the Earth no doubt! but as soon as i stroked my brush on her radiantly smiling face, she started crying and squerming.. i wanted to stop, but her parents forced me to continue over my better judgement, and i apologised profusely to the poor, anguished girl.. and of course to little effect, as if she would understand english in the first place.

the 3rd best thing that happened today was meeting a magnificent 26 yr old lady.

Lets just say that i've been noticing a lady with the most angelic voice for the past 2.5 years at church. Of course the voice was complemented by contestable looks and personality. After the old ladies decided to pack and go, this clown comes over and takes over, allowing me to remain with her to continue painting.

And i realize that under that ridiculous make up and funky clothes was that lady! Lily is her name...

So finally when we started packing (we were the last stand to close) we got time to talk a little.

"are u in the worship team?"

"yeah i was. but i quit because i hardly have time for church now."

"oh thats a pity. i know u've got a great voice" remembering the first time i discovered her. that was when i sat next to her during worship, and we unconciously harmonized with each other! haha

Then, its as if i suddenly hit her on her heart strings, she began to open up most immediately.

"yeah i know. But u know, i'm having troubles with that. I know i have a talent, but i'm not content just being a back-up, and i'm very frank with that at church. and everyone keeps telling me to have humility and all, but i just cant accept that i cant use my voice in a more powerful way. Its like i'm not going to learn to be humble and just store my gift away, just not to show off."

oh my gosh. she was talking about me, as much as she was about herself.

i'm not about to type out my entire conversation, but we essentially had a very personal conversation, and i told her about how i was struggling with the exact same thing, and that i was purposely tossed to the other end of the globe and isolated from participating in church activities so that I would learn to be humble and patient for God's time.

She reminded me, in the most eere way, of myself. She would refuse to listen to secular music and only wanted to use her talents in church, just like i had before.

I hope my message to her got thru though. Are we really trying to serve God or ourselves?

There was a definite reason i face painted today. After 2.5 years and a month before i leave canada for good, i met lily, for a great purpose, only God had planned. And i thank God for his gentle reminder - to the both of us.

In Christ alone, i place my trust
And fine the glory in the powet of the Cross

2006-05-24T19:41:00.000-07:00

Ok. i'm gonna try to add 3 random, but useless facts on my blog everytime i post. so here's the first.

- the first product to have a bar code is Wrigley's gum.
- Earth is the only planet not named after a pagan god.
- A Boeing 747 is longer then the Wright brother's flight.

10 things

2006-05-22T23:13:00.000-07:00

10 things i'd like to say to certain people, but wouldnt want to at the same time. (thanks jill for this idea.)

1. you are the most outstanding individual i know, in too many ways to count. I wish, really wish something would happen, and have dreamnt about it too. But for one reason or another, i know it isn't. Please tell me thats a lie.

2. Somehow i know it isnt going to come to pass. Somehow i know you know that too.
I'm sorry.

3. Stop being a wimp and hypocrite. My years of respect have now been almost absolutely obliterated. Its going to take more years to repair that. but i still love you, i need u to know that.

4. Such unions are forbidden by God, man and myself. Even though he knows that why can't he resist it? he knows u somehow share the thought. But he can't help it, can he?

5. Thanks for giving me the best years of my life, and for always being there. But i think its about to end, but not entirely. Its because of you.

6. Wat happened? you promised. I hope u dont ever go thru the rest of ur life like this. and tell me those rumours arent true.

7. You've been such an awesome friend, the best anyone could ask for. I'm sorry i havent. I know you're dissapointed, and so is ur family. I'll try harder soon, i promise.

8. Thanks for all the support, and i'm really really truly imensely sorry that i had to drop out like that. I still remember ur dissapointed face. Ur the only one who got me rowing like that, no one else believed in me, only u did. Thanks a million. And i'll prove to you that i can do it someday, someday soon.

9. U're one of the most caring, awesome teachers i know. u've gone further out of your way then any teacher ever has. I dont understand why so many students hate u, because i sure dont. U'll be expecting a graduation thank-you card from me :)

10. Stop hurting people. its going to bit u in the butt.

2006-05-22T00:43:00.000-07:00

toooo much has happened since the last time i blogged. But i'm glad they've come to pass before i leave this place, soon to go into ivan's history books as his high school days.

Ok well, the most profound event actually happened exactly 2 weeks back. in a nutshell, i was asked to blind-date someone to her prom, which was 2 days ago. After the whole drama which i prefer not to mention on a public blog, i did, and spent quite a bit on it too.

Anyways, suffice to say, i am EXtremely glad i did it. I went with a great girl, one who i know will remain my friend for a while, and i had an expereince i will never forget, my first time doing something close to clubbing.... and actually loving it.

for the record, no DRUGS, ALCHOHOL or SEX was involved. ivan is still the pleasent boy he is... :P

i will post pictures soon,when i get them from her.. till then..

Time has Come!!!

2006-05-08T00:25:00.000-07:00

Found Hope, Found love, Found life

The time haz come

to stand for all we believe in

So i for one am going to give my praise to You.

Today Today

I live for one thing

to give You praise

in everything i do

Yeah the prasie goes out to You!

Ivan-Melissa: Amen, sister! U're absolutely right. Inspite of the horrors of what the enemy can do, there's still something too exciting about His coming and conquering of satan! Wat a sense of hope!

remember, remember the Holocaust forever..

2006-05-02T15:41:00.000-07:00

Today's school trip is one i will find hard to forget.

My history class spent the day at the Holocaust Syposium. No, its not a museum, although it wouldnt have been a bad idea for it to be held at one, instead of at UBC.

But it was certainly an eye-opener. We had 4-5 actual Holocaust survivors speak to a hall of high-school students, while there were other children of survivors and Jewish Proffs of the uni. Its extremely rare to meet a survivor of the Holocaust, much less meet them at the same room.

Simply put, i was moved close to tears so many times by their testimonies.

We've all heard about the Holocaust, and basically understand the weight of it. But its so much more __(fill in the blank)__ when u actually meet a survivor face to face, shack their hand and hear what they had to go thru.

I am recollecting this testimony for my own record and for those who are interested, so please move on if u find this uninteresting:

The first person i met was Peter Parker. No, not spiderman like i initially thought. Originally born Peter Deutsch, he adopted Parker after the war when his mother remarried, conviniently as Deutsch means German in German.

Peter was born and lived in Vienna, Austria till he was 11 yrs old. He lived with his mother and older sister of 18 months, his parents divorced when he was 3. When he was about 8, Nazi Germany over-ran Austria, and he faced much discrimination under the new German laws. So, his mother decided to move him and his sister to nearby Czechoslovakia to live with their relatives. Not long after, the Germans over-ran Czech and they had to escape again to Belgium to live with their ailing and poor grandmother.

At Belgium, his mother deceided to move the family to England, and found a job as a home maker there, but was only allowed to travel alone and bring the kids 6 weeks after she's settled there. But wat was 6 weeks became 6 months, as the British authorities were too busy with war efforts that they brushed the issuance of their visas to the last minute.

Their visas were finally granted. However, just 7 days before they were to leave Belgium for England, the Germans over-ran Belgium. Unfortunately, all communications were severed with their mother and they had to live with their grandmother, who tragically died falling 4 stories to her death not long after the German occupancy.

So 15 yr old Peter and 16 yr old sister remained in Belgium with nothing, no money, no family, no friends. They supported themselves with odd jobs and moved into degraded ghettos. It wasnt long till the German law of putting the star of David on the outer garments of Jews was enforced. But being a red head and blonde with very fair skin, they managed to survive without doing so, until one fateful day a yr later.

Peter and his sister were walking down a street when he had to bend down to tie his shoelace. During which, a Gestapo (German Secret Police, equivelant to the FBI) van pulled over and asked him about his sister. When he said he doesnt know her, he was forced onto the van with many others and brought to a deserted Belgian barrack, where he was questioned about his whereabouts. The Gestapo made it seem like they just wanted to contact their families to return them, but being a smart 17 yr old, he said nothing about his sister, knowing that they were going to be "relocated".

At the barracks, he and 90+ others were forced onto a cattle container on a train and were given an open oil can as a lavatory. The trip was 4 days, use ur imigination in regards to the condition of the train.

This was the beginning of his journey at the concentration camp. It was much too elaborate for me to remember, but i shall try my best.

Out of the train, the group was immediately split into two groups. Noticably a group of able-bodied men and the group of women, children and handicapped. Families were seperated. The latter group was sent off on vans while the former group, the one Peter was on, was marched to a camp.

It was Aushwitz.

Any history student would know Aushwitz. It was THE most vile, "effecient killing machine that any developed country has ever developed." as Peter said. It contained the most # gas-chambers and one of the only hard-labour camps, where men were literally worked to their death.

What makes Peter so remarkable is the fact that only 4 of the 4000+ labourers survived the ordeal. and he was one of them.

As i said, i cant recall most of his expereince as there was too too much detail.

As he and the other men walked into this death camp, the man behind him asked an SS (Nazi) gaurd if he could reunite with his family now. Pointing to the black ashes being spewed out of tall chimnies from a nearby facility, the gaurd said that those were his family. and it was the morbid truth.

They were stripped off their clothes and stuffed into a room for a cold night before being body searched of any valuables hidden in any cavaties of their body. After which, they were given clothes made of something close to saw dust and wooden boots.
Peter also said that the worst thing about the clothes was that it was not size fitting, and that for those whose boots were too small had NO chance of living, because as soon as any Jew fell to the graund, the SS would immediated shoot them. The clothes he received that day was the same clothes on his back 2 yrs later when he was finally liberated.

Though i remember little about Peter's testimony, all i remember is how slim the line between life and death is at the death camps, if ANY line at all. he had numerous encounters with death, but for one reason or another, did not meet his maker.

In one occasion, while marching, an SS guard just randomly pointed a gun at his head and told another gaurd that he does want to see that "red-head" by the time the day was over. Paniced, he took ashes from the nearby infinerator and colored his hair with it. But once the day was over, he saw no sign of that gaurd.

Having been worked so much, he was extermely fortunate to have met a cook at the camp who happened to be from Vienna. He then snatched a rare oppurtunity of working in a kitchen as a potato-peeler. That was good for 2 reason, as it was Sept, the weather was very unforgiving, and many labourers died outside from the blistering cold. Working indoors, he was sealed from such a fate. Furthermore, he managed to scrape off wat little there was when cleaning pots and pans, he managed to norish himself just that much more, though he was still under the average healthy intake of calories by the Thousands.

But because of never having showered, there was a lice epidemic in the camp,and he sustained a high fever, that would have inevitably killed him. After being isolated to his death, his fever mysteriously BROKE after 4 days. (its a miracle i tell u) But after he left the isolation room, he was a mere 36kg of a 17 yr old boy.

Luck began to show its radiant face when the Russians advance into Germany. Being faster then expected, he and the other labourers were hurried out of Aushwitz and into another camp, Triblinka. Unfortunately, some were not able to make the 150 km journey to Triblinka, how this under-norished teen did, i will never know. but for those who couldnt, they were gased most indefinitly. During the march itself to Triblinka, the dirt path culminated such a storm of dirt from the front line to the back that those unfortunate few behind the march fell to the ground, where they were shot, as the SS did not want to slow down. Peter was once again very fortunate to be walking at the 2nd row as he was beside who he calls his "beneficiary", the cook. He recalled hearing gun shots ever so frequently, but was much too afraid to turn around to look. At night, he would scoope the dirt of the ground and suck whatever moisture there was in it and consume whatever bugs there were, just to stay alive. He was thirsty and hungry beyond comprehension.

After reaching Triblinka, the SS loaded them onto another cattle container. He recalled his cattle number was 151535. He considers it his lucky number as 151534 and 151536 never made it out alive. On the train, he noticed that an anti-air turret was situated at the end of the train. He didnt know why the Germans wanted to protect them. On the middle of the journey, Peter heard air crafts flying over the train and explosives distantly reaching them. Massive explosions ensued and he remembered blood and limbs flying all over the place. the train was derailed and the surviving SS gaurds instructed the survivors on the clean-up. It was then that he realized that that was precisely wat the SS wanted. The anti-aircraft turret was a decoy for the Allied to bomb the train without having the Germans use resources for killing them themselves.

The remaining survivors waited in an area hidden from the tracks. he remebers the SS gaurds with anxious contenances and one even asking Peter to switch clothes. which he didnt. The gaurds, however, left the survivors to their death for the night.

The next morning, when Peter and another survivor woke, expecting to be dead already, they heard noises of tanks approaching. No doubt it was the Nazi tanks coming to finish off the work. But no! the tanks looked nothing like German tanks. Out came a lietanent, declareing, "I am so-and-so from New York and this is the 6 contingent of the American Army. U have been liberated."

After which, the hall of students burst into a roar of appluase! It was electrifying! Just thinking of it sends chills down my spine.

Peter then returned to Brussles in search of his sister. He finally found her working for the British military. They then reunited with their mother in England where she remarried soon after. Both his mom and sister were almost certain of his death, as rarely anyone survived the Holocaust.

I count myself nothing short of Blessed having met this remarkable man, Peter Parker. His testimony is so moving, but he also added the sad, but undeniable truth. That humans DO NOT learn from history.

The Holocaust is NOT unique, as many people, especially the Jews want to make it. The only thing unique about it is the effectiancy of how it was carried out. But other genocides across the globe, such as in Rwanda, Congo, Pre-WW1 Armenia, and Cambodia, can be equally atrocious in terms of raw-human number and in terms of cold-blooded murder. And it is that much more troubling to know that a holocaust is happening RIGHT NOW as we speak in Darfur, Sudan. How is this capable, and how do the governments of countries affected by the Holocaust sit by the sidelines to watch history repeat itself?

If there is any criticism i can give to the newly established nation of Israel, it is their inactivity in condemning and actively opposing the very circumstance that has devasted its people so heavily as it occurs elsewhere around the globe. Israel has not yet proved itself to be an unself-centred nation as its contribution to world wide humanitarian work is not up to standard.

As the following speaker said, the commemoration of the Holocaust is absolutely useless if it is not to promote a change and form of prevention for such an event to happen again. The Jewish state has yet to earn itself the respect they need to prevent more conflict in the mid-east and to promote itself as a peace-loving nation.

Anways, haha, a bit off, just went on my rant again. Back to the Symposium.
This picture of an SS shooting a fleeing woman and child was taken by another SS with his own camera, who was trying to capture the "victory" of the war.

Our second speaker was one who really really pulled onto my heart strings. I mean really.

She was a survivor too, but with a very different story behind her survival of the Holocaust.

Bronia was born in Poland and grew up in Vienna but returned to her family in Poland early 1939. In fall of that yr, she and her parents and sister were forced into the Lodz Ghetto, just before she graduated from high school.

This is one of the reasons why her testimony is that much more personal to me, because before she began and when she closed, she congradulated us for our near-completion of high school. I know she resented not being able to at least have the opportunity to complete her last few months of school before sent off to the ghettos.

She and her family remained at the ghetto for 5 yrs where she became the secretary for the leader of the Jewsish council for the elders, and married soon after. 1944 came and the ghetto had to be liquidated, and Bronia and her family were deported to Aushwitz.

There her gruesome experience began, where she said she saw "the face of evil". She, her sister, mother and hundreds of other women were made to strip examined for any disabilities. Those who had any were sent to be gased. It was at Aushwitz that her husband and father died, either by working to death or by gasing, she would never know.

By December 1944, Bronia was relocated to a munitions factory at Dresden, where she worked typing for an authority. She would never forget the infamous day of the Dresden Bombing, which one would say had killed more then the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombing combined. During the bombing, she had hoped that the SS would at least allow them to flee for their lives, but they were not allowed to go anywhere or they would be shot dead. Fortunately, they survived the bombing.

However, after the bombing, Nazi German forced her and hundreds others on a 12-day death march to Theresienstadt. (how do u pronounce that?) However before they begun, the German lady she was working for hurried to her and handed her a letter and envelope and said "this will save you". Frightened and abolutely affraid of having come in contact with an Aryan German, Bronia hid the letter in her garment, never opening it until after the liberation.

During the death march, she and her mother and sister were nothing more then skin and bones. they slept not expecting, or desiring to wake the next day. However, she was strengthened by her mother's faith in miracles, living each day expecting one the next. The conditions were so extreme till it came to a point that she didnt know what was worst, thirst or hunger.

During the march, they settled near a river bank for the night. As soon as the prisoners reached the river, the only thing seperating them from it were the guards. delusioned, the prisoners dashed past the gaurd toward the river, but as an unspoken rule, prisoners are not allowed to come within arms length of the gaurds. So the guards began shot every person running toward the river. the river began to grow redder and redder with every shot. It was a horrific sight.

then on 8th May 1945, a sole horsemen riding or horse back with a translator entered Theresienstadt and said in Russian, "The allied has conquered Nazi Germany, you are free!"

When she finally opened the letter, she realized why it was of such importance to her. It contained a list of the 10 commandments, and the 4th being emphasised. "thou shall not kill." As if to tell Bronia of Christianity and why the Nazi regime has infringed upon God's commandments. The lady tried to tell Bronia of the love and existance of God, and the salvation that she needed was not from the Allies, but from God. Bronia thanked this lady profusely at the syposium, and i am sure she has for the other numerous talks that she's been to. The amount of gratitude that she has for this lady is a true testiment on how even amongst the sinful, that there is always a faithful.

Bronia recalls breaking out in tears when she was liberated. She recalls seeing a mural on the ghetto walls written by another who she does not know survived or not.

It said, "I have not seen sunshine. But i believe in it. I have not seen love. But i Belive in it. I have not seen God. But i believed in Him before, i do today, and i will forever."

Bronia Sonnenschien

I will not forget this woman, Bronia Sonnenschein. This old women, who can hardly speak english, because of her cultural background and of old age, has brought such a sense of hope, even after such a vile experience as the Holocaust.

She said herself, that even before liberation, she and her fellow prisoners made a vow to tell the world about the Holocaust, and the lessons to be learnt from it.

Her sense of hope, and her love for humanity to me, somehow parallels that of Mother Theresa.

I nearly wept, when i finally went forward to shake her hand and thank her for sharing her experience. When we shook hands, she wouldnt let go, she just wouldnt. She just stared into my eyes with a slight smile to expose her aging teeth and the folded cravases on her face, which i'm not sure if caused by age or by the stress of the Holocaust expereince or the combination of both. Yet under those tear-filled eyes, i know, i just know, that my shacking of her hands meant more to her then it did to me. I know she felt that it was a mission accomplished yet again for her. *just thinking of it fills tears in my eyes too, haha*

Then in one sentence, she said, "are u graduating this year?"

"Yes" i replied.

"Congradualtions." she said with an even wider smile, that glimmored the kindess of her heart. It signalled to me that i am speaking to a women who was forced into one of the worst hardships and carnages ever known to men at my age. our age.

If there is ever one thing i can learn from this precious woman, it is the very fact, the God exists.

Yes He does!

One of the many criticisms of Theism, is that a God, a Loving God would never have let something like the Holocaust happen, even to His people.

From now on, whoever asks me that question, i will reply, "ask a Bronia Sonnenschein."

Bronia said, with absolutely full confidence, that if it were not for her faith and dependence on God, she would have NEVER made it out alive. In fact, during the public question and asnwer period, a student asked how this expereince has affected her faith. and she said with no hesitation that it has strenghtened her faith in God!

AND Peter Parker himself also said that this expereince has made him believe in God even more!

There were NO atheists at the Death Camps. When everything is stripped off u, and when u are placed in such a situation and see the very worst of human kind, the only thing left for u is ur faith, nothing more.

Hear me, everyone reading this:
SURVIVORS OF THE HOLOCAUST BELIEVE IN GOD!!! THE HOLOCAUST STRENGTHENED THEIR FAITH!!!If a survivor can tell u that there is a God, it is absolutly ignorant and superficial to continue using the Holocaust as a proof against His existance. You may may use the incomprehendable carnage as ur basis for ur arguement against a God, but if a person who has lived thru it, suffered thru it can tell u that there is a God, it is not only reasonable but logical to believe it.

I am so moved by this woman. Words cannot express. Her love for humanity has fueled my love for humanity and my desire for diplomacy.

I thank God for this great opportunity.

I am going to end with a short statment that was reply by Proff Chris Friedrich, a guest speaker at the symposium, to the question, "is inequality an inherent human trait?"

His reply.
"Every human being is different. NO one can deny that fact. No one can deny that in some areas, one person is better then the other. Thus, inequality is only natural.

However, the question you should be asking is, on what basis should a society make distinctions?

Can one say that because you are Asian, you are more superior, or because you are Indo-Canadian that you are inferior? NO! Distinctions must and can only be made from the basis of an individual, NOT a group, whether ethnic or religious. This is the basis a society can make a distinction."

With this, the whole hall burst into an applause.

and rightfully so...

*may 8th is the Holocaust Liberation anniversary. I shall turn off my music to this blog for a week in commemoration to those who lost their lives at the Holocaust.*

2006-04-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

ahhh.. frustration...

today's pole vault was grosss. damn it, even my coach doesnt know wats going on. dunno why i just cant swing... (maybe i should just stick to pole dancing.. at least im good at that..)*edited by animesh*

started with many rotten vaults, then made 2 really really nice ones. but it was closely accompanied by several bad ones after. talk about major inconsistancy.

sigh.... maybe this just isnt for me...

started too too late.

hmph.

Let it snow let it snow let it snow...

2006-04-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so it was a long weekend two weeks ago, and i have to say, it must have been one of my highlights this year. Whistler was very unexpectedly breathtaking, i mean i wasnt in the mood for snow at all before i went, cuz it was just getting warm in vancouver. But when we arrived, man, i was blown away, alomst as literally as it is metaphorically. There were a couple of us heading up, me, aaron, amy, matt, karen, mom, idid (aunty ida), ima-non (aunty nondra)and uncle bob. So we rented this town house which was simply beautiful, it came equipt with an outdoor hot tub too!

Whistler's combination of serenity and scenic landscapes and entertainment (and oddly a population of aussies) proved to be marvellous. These pictures are but the few that can bring back only little of the Whisler experience.

gotta love these candid shots

At the lake on blueberry heights.. where r the blueberries?

hahah! caught u aaron! but... in starbucks?!

suiting up for the snow mobile tour.

Craziest snow-fight at the snow mobile tour

My james bond pic. watch as amy and i ride away in our snowmobile!

This is TOOOOO funny. Aaron and I look drunk!

idid, ima-non and mom

Two of my favvvv pictures. Iman enjoying the tub at night while it was snowing! they tricked us out of tht ube by telling us that dinner was getting cold before sneekily hoping in behind us.

Ahh.. the joys of the hot tub... for one reason or another, we have so many pictures of it. haha
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Dennis, this pic goes out to u. a shop selling only cow products! even the store smells like dairy products.

Celebrating Karen and Matt's bdaes! (talk about big hair :P)

Uncle Bob and Amy

Simon, Aaron and amy, suiting up for zip-tracking

amy pouting

dinner at the town house. Indo food baby!

dead on the way back

2006-04-25T00:41:00.000-07:00

Well, removed the previous blog post.. didnt think many people needed to see that. But thanks anyways to melisa, aaron, milene and mich tng for ur encouragement. :) really appreciate it.

My next post will be in whistler, so until then!

2006-04-19T23:20:00.000-07:00

its so weird using william's laptop. I left my laptop cables at north van, so i cant charge my already drained laptop... Now i have to settle with this one which functions primarily in, of all languages, PUNJABI!!! dun-dun-dun!!!!

kidding..

its something close enough, mandrin. So i'm looking at the screen and every thing is in "fan-ti-zhi". Its funny looking working my way around this computer and guessing the functions, haha...

Well, anyways, tommorrow is my first track and field league meet. I'm supposed to be vaulting. But then i had second thoughts since i heard about it, and today during training, i was creamed by guys younger then me. My damn pole was constantly giving me fibre-face, and i had so much trouble trying to get over the bungee today :P... damn.

Anyways, on the way back to the boarding house after training, i pulled my calvies... simultaniously in a span of 30 mins. Oh well, i guess that answers whether or not i'm going for the league meet tmr! heheh...

so i'll post about my awesome weekend at Whistler in a couple of days when i get pictures from my cousins... i realize this blog is in dire need of visual stimulation

but for the record. :

2006-04-13T09:38:00.000-07:00

Easter is coming! yayzers...

being the last day of school before the easter long weekend, we actually get to wear casual clothes to school :P * ahh... the joy of being a private school student*

Anyhow, yesterday was the networking event with Crofton house business club, one of our three sister schools. it took some planning but in the end, lets just say it was dissapointing...

Firstly, it was the male hormones speaking (single sex school deprivation). We were told that there was going to be 25 girls there. And so, not to be out done by the girls, i racked in 12 boys, promising them that there was going to be a 2:1 ratio. And twleve was more then i was expecting. As soon as we arrived, there were only 10 girls in sight. haha, it was funny really, cuz the guys were so shocked at the lack of the opposite gender.

Anyways, i dont feel like blogging much today, gotta start on my painting soon... here is the list of dissapointments

1. lack of promised response.

2. shallow response of wussy guys who use the excuse of 'ugly girls' for their lack of social skills. not to mention one who isnt any better looking himself.

3. $80 for a tiny basket of cold muffins.

4. uninspiring speaker.

that's it i guess... till next time

2006-04-10T08:21:00.000-07:00

I'm appalled by my boarding house nurse's disregard for the sickly.

My head feels like its about to explode into a million peices and my lungs feels like its going to be expelled into the air with another cough or two. I couldnt sleep last night, and i even prepared my will with my room mate to ensure my possesions go to the right people should i have failed to wake up this morning.

and i walk into the nurse's office and she laughs at me, saying that i dont look pale enough to be sick. she then tries to extract the truth behind my 'antic disposition'(fake/crazy acting) with a series of ridiculous questions.

i then rudely inturupt her by reminding her about how she sent me to school about 2 yrs ago when i was severely sick with a viral infection, on the basis that i dont look pale enough... I was near death because of her. :P

pardon my darker skin, nurse parker, but i dont believe i can morph(spelling?) into one of those lovely snow-white creatures u call boys in a matter of hours.

Anyways, she let me stay in this time and didnt send me to school. haha...

2006-04-05T22:40:00.000-07:00

Mich Tng: Hey! I'm good. Yah i know i wanna study law, but i dont wanna practice it. Just use the knowledge and credentials to take me places. Anyways, i love law but dont believe in the current system, dont get be started :P And i'm going back probably on the 5th of july. but i'm leaving for Bali on the 6th, and will be back maybe in two weeks or less. when r u going back? will i be able to catch u?

Jo: U mean u met Esther?! haha! small world! hey its seems like MacGriddles has taken over singapore. haha, yeah, its really though, i have to admit. Hey, wats ur cell number? jill didnt tell me >(

Well, i have to say that God is an Awesome God!I mean really. Some of u close to me may have known that it was my dream to at least have attempted pole vaulting sometime, even back in singapore. and today was the 'step-of-faith' i finally joined my track and field team to try pole vaulting. And i did!

its been a tuff year since i quite rowing at school, and after that was just sailing and rock-climbing, which arent exactly the most exciting sports around. i know i'm gonna stick to this sport. how can i not, i've always wanted to do it! I just thank God for the opportunity. Now, since i'm at at that, i might as well try other track and field events, right? i think i shall. I dont think i'll ever be able to do that after i graduate and before uni anyways :P

*dang it, should have done this years ago*

God is an awesome God,
He reigns!
From heaven above in wisdom
Power and Love
Our God is an Awesome God!!!

Next stop ... Africa!

2006-04-03T19:23:00.000-07:00

So Richmond Model UN is finally over. and Ku-dooes (spelling?) to everyone who were involved, it turned out to be a respectable Model UN. However, i do have to say that inspite of the fact that my delegates in this conference were very much more prepared and enthusiastic about the debate, they were no where as fun as my ASEAN delegates. maybe by a mile or so.

one of the worst things about this conference though, is that it was held in Richmond High. No doubt the facilities were pretty good, the fact that a simulation of the UN was held in a high school wasnt very pleasant. Because my committee was one of the largest, it was held in the only other available large room, that being the art studio.

so committee was held with massive insects, which some may call artistic, hanging off the ceiling and pencil sketches of celebrities' profiles stuck around the room. the worst part was the clean-up. when i entered the room just an hour before opening ceremony, i saw NO confrence tables and NO proper chairs anywhere. it was a nightmare. So me and this korean guy had to run around the school carrying heavy tables and chairs to make the room somewhat presentable. I dont think i've done that much heavy lifting in my life in a spand of 2 days. :P. which doesnt say very much about how helpful i am at school. haha.

anyways, all in all, the conference went well. the delegates where awesome,and were very knowledgable and passionate about their country's position, although some of them drifted far away from their foreign policy. Unfortunately, i didnt keep in contact with anyone new this time. :( especially this lebonese girl i met, who i have to say has the MOST perfect hair, plus, she was the most friendliest of the girls there. oh well...

So that will be the last time i'm ever going to be involved in an MUN here in canada. Although i kinda wish i could be a delegate again. Twice as a director is enough for me. it depresses me really.

but i think MUN really showed me something genuine. I mean i think i've found my calling. I dont think i will be any happier living my life in the furture working as anyone else but a diplomate. i truely think so. But i have yet to explore the world! next stop ... africa!

2006-03-29T17:18:00.000-08:00

yay! got another acceptance from University of Buckingham.

But because this is a private uni, it isnt ranked, which is frustrating really. But apperently this uni was founded by Margeret Thatcher and her husband, so it isnt bad i guess. pretty high profile.

Anyways, school didnt start off with a "BANG", as i had hoped. Just kinda got into the gear of 'last 2 months of school' which really didnt inspire many of us grads. Instead, its was 'enjoy the last few months of school by SLACKING-OFF'. haha. But i know i gotta work because my condition of Nottingham is another 4 and 5 for my APs, but more like a 5 and 5. Thankfully Buckingham is a breeze. the condition is like B+ average for 5 subjects, not a tuffy.

i really gotta start planning my trip back. I'm hoping brian can come back to singapore with me and i can stop by korea with him, but i'm not sure anymore. the itenerary (spelling?) is kinda tight. Michelle's wedding is on the 8th of july, and my last paper is on the 29th of june. AH! nightmare!

2006-03-26T00:32:00.000-08:00

Michtng: I dont wanna practice law, only wanna study for the degree! anyhoo, How r u?

Jo: Erm. Jo, the Griddles family who invented it is canadian..Haha kidding, yes we do have McGriddles. We arent detached from the rest of the world, u know! Besides, the maple syrup used in it is from canada. haha

Melisa: Haha, yes it was! lets do it again!

Thank u God!

2006-03-25T03:29:00.000-08:00

ANOTHER GOOD NEWS GUYS! OMG

But before i can say anything, i have to Praise God for all of this. If it wasnt for Him, this would not have been Possible...

I've been accepted into University of Nottingham, Law!

Yay-zer!

Now i'm awaiting my other uni replies. This has been the only one so far to have replied. So yeah! Praise God!

2006-03-25T03:02:00.000-08:00

yesterday (or rather this morning) was a rather interesting day. really different actually.

So its 330 am and i'm up chatting with melissa on msn. and this other weirdo, whose story i will tell later. So I'm in the room with aaron and adrian, but i'm the only one awake. the other two were sound asleep. Then adrian's cell rang and i picked up. Brian was on the other line , and the next thing i know, i'm driving across vancouver at 4 in the morning to get breakfast and watch the sun rise with 3 other guys. Haha, it was really an adventure, cuz i;ve never been to the ends of richmond. William brought us to the sea side for a potentially great view.

Potential being the key word.

After we got our MacGriddles, hot choclate, tea, orange juice and hash browns, we waited patiently by the sea side, awaiting the arrival of the glorious sun. So much for glorious, the only thing we managed to see for an hour was the brightening of a grey ominous sky with no sun in sight.

So we decided to go searching for the sun by driving along the sea side. This was the good part.

We entered a little town which didnt look any different from Elizabethtown and it was as charming as charming could be. Then, we entered into the park and took a long stroll down one of the most undescribable routes i have ever been on.

It was a 5 km long gravel path no wider then two arms length. It was closely accompanied by a little river next to it with ducks and tiny fountains built conspicuously by the charming villas and old oak trees who's leaves reached down for the river like long drips for water. And to the left was a vast field of farmland, which brown dried wheat reached high for the grey sky, while providing a little balancing-act for the tiny birds. But the sight of the sea was not covered by the wheat as its splendor boasted itself with colossal ships travelling toward the mystified mountains which looked like where the gravel path would finally end. I didnt bring much to warm myself with, so i wrapped myself in the blue Winnie the Pooh blanket which william brought and enjoyed the outstanding scenery and the mighty breeze, complemeted by the gloomy grey sky, whose clouds acted live seives allowing only few rays of sun light thru.

my words cannot bring justice to how beautiful it was.

Haha, then we started to head home at only about 815 am. I had to drive because benson was dead asleep and he was probably too tired to drive. But i too was so tired from my lack of sleep that i sprayed myself in the face perfume! when i picked it out from the door pocket, it looked so much like the face spray that my mother would carry with her! i feel like an idiot, cuz a little bit of it got into my eye and i've been carrying a red left eye for the entire day today.

2006-03-22T18:57:00.000-08:00

Spring Break begun awhile ago. Last week to be exact.

it was pretty good. Shopping at seattle was nothing short of awesome. I got plenty (actually not half enough) of clothes from the malls and factory outlets. Plus, i have officially found my favourite store - Hollister. It not as rugged and Aryan as Abrecombie and Fitch and not as colourful and stereotypical as American Eagle. I think putting on weight paid off too, because i think i can actually where some of their stuff and not look homoseckssual. haha.

Another really awesome thing that happend in seattle was that William Chen, one of my friends who i invited to come with us, actually accepted Christ into his life at the sunday service there. it was pretty cool, cuz it really was coincidance that he came with us to seattle, since i'm not actually close to him. It was only a few days before that we suddenly became close. all in His Plan!

byebye sister ;(

2006-03-07T09:31:00.000-08:00

My dearest sister went back to malibu yesterday. *sniff sniff*

But on the UP side, she left me her laptop! HAHAHA, my plan worked! (pinkie pointed to the bottm left side of evil grin)
but really, i think i'll miss her. but it'll only be a couple of months till i see her, so no worries.

My mother pulled out a very VERY interesting article cut from the singapore straits times a few nights ago. it was entitled "Student, 17, saves man" or something like that. and a very familiar face was splashed across the article, haha. it was ESTHER! my cousin! OMG!

haha! like i would not have ever guessed that something like would've happened, it was extremely unexpected! so, if i got this right , the story goes something like this:

Esther was with her friends in Crystal Jade at Holland V., when she heard a loud scream at the nearby mama shop across the street. she dug through the petrified crowd only to find an elderly indian man lying on the ground, motionless. She then ran the CPR procedure that she learnt a number of years ago quickly, but surely thru her mind before boldly performing it to him. Peramedics arrived promptly and speed the elderly man to the nearby hospital. if it were not for the brave act of Esther, the man's heart would have stopped and would indefinitley be beyond help. Thus, Esther, has in effect, saved a man's life.

WOW! like crazy man... Apparently this news is circulating around the media like mad and has even been mentioned in Parliament... twice! (if ur reading this Esther, I'm really proud of u :))

so yeah, this is all i have time for now.. spring break is comin'! cant wait!

2006-03-03T16:33:00.000-08:00

So the entrance to the new month of MARCH wasnt greeted with anything more interesting then the arrival of my report card. Of course, the interest subsided with a single glance of the paired numbers. I didnt do too too badly, i still got into honour roll yet again. But of course, that wasnt the best i couldve done and i know that.

I got a disspointing 77% for History, one of the subjects i actually like and am respected for. Its really disgusting. I'm distinguished in school as an MUNer and i know that i'm a good history student. I thought i didnt get anything under a 80%, but when i went to check with my teacher, i realize that i actually did get many high 70s... because my teacher absolutely LOVES to heavily penalize me for being late. He actually took off a 15% for one of the major essays, leaving me with a dissapointing 73%. Blah...

But on the UP side, i actually topped my class with a perfect score on my recent math test. And yes people, beating simon and adrian. But i can assure u, this is once in a life time. haha.. But at least i can feel some barker rd pride over the triumphant defeat of acsi. Plus, i topped my Human Geo AP class in our research essay, scoring an astounding 95%, and yes people, beating Nathan Chan. And NO, this will not be a once in a life time thing.

Anyhoo, enough about marks. The new month was also marked with the arrival of two very special people, my dear mother and sister. Arrving from singapore and LA respectively, it was awesome meeting them again, and being reminded of home. But i have yet to spend enough time with them. This weekend it will be.

Also, i got a call from alexadria choi not too long agon, and apperently Richmond Model united Nations is in desperate need of a competent director for the coming conference. They received a very unpredicted over-load of delegates and openned a couple of new committees. So i stepped up to the plane in undertaking yet another committee.

How fun! another confernce before i graduate! God sent!haha...

So yeah. I'm directing the first committee of the general assembly this time, DISEC. Disarmament and International Security. So i had only one crummy night to find topics, cuz the conference is pretty soon and the delegates need to get crakin.

so tis is it:
a) the UN, Rogue Nations and the International Response.
b) the Nuclear Situation in Iran.

I'm really hoping the delgates will be prepared for the confernce I have high expectations for this committee.

Anyways, praise God! He really comes thru with so manythings. Most eminently in the things i dont deserve.

You came in from the everlasting,
to the world we live.
Father's only son...

Hallellujia, for all You've done!

2006-02-21T14:25:00.000-08:00

So it's been a pretty alright week since the last i blogged. Nothing much has happened except for a bunch of birthdays. Isnt it weird how so many people's birthdays are on febuary, especially mid-feb?

or maybe its just me.. haha

Yeah, i went to Grouse with aaron, adrian, animesh, ashley, sean, nicole, samantha and aunty anne. it was pretty cool getting back on the mountains againt o ski. it never really occured to me that i wouldnt actually be able to ski after i graduate till like...forever! well not really, but for a long time at least.

but yeah, nicole and samantha are sean's freinds i meet just a few days ago. they're from singapore. Apparently, as they claim, they know how to ski.

Yeah right! haha!

It was immensely amusing. Nicole, speed down the slope, arms flailing in the air with poles on each hand, skis pointed to the bottom, screaming for dear life, heading right toward the line for the ski lift.

i have to admit, i feel rather terrible laughing so hard at her when she crashed right into, not onto, INTO the barrier, breaking one of the sticks keeping it up. She got totally wasted on the snow, her touque actually flew right out of her head. it was sooooo incredibly funny. haha

but anyways, i feel sorry for her to. yeah right, haha.

Anyways, my sister is coming over to visit this weekend. Whether it is to vist me, as she claims, or the Whistler mountain remain debatable. but anyways, i'm going up to whistler with her! yay! cant wait. cant wait.

transcending superficiality

2006-02-10T12:25:00.000-08:00

I think its awesome what the Lord is doing in Europe right now. Christianity is drastically plummeting in most parts of it. But just two seconds ago, i was browsing thru BBC and read this article. It was really encouraging to read it. DONT FORGET TO READ THE COMMENTS OF THE READERS!!!
p.s ( i tried to rebut on of them :P )

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4677440.stm

(pictures from BBC)

all 4 love

2006-02-08T12:16:00.000-08:00

isnt it crazy what the world is coming too? especially in the middle east. The two very beliefs that has rooted the faith of millions clash head to head in an unsightly event of violence and utter hate. Islam and the Freedom of speech.

(pictures from BBC)

Muslims all around the world burn flags and protest, no RIOT, because they are offended by the Dansih publication of a cartoon of Muhammad with a bomb in his head. yes i totally understand where the Muslims are coming from. their sentiments are absolutely justified. Any depiction, much less a satirical cartoon, of their prophet is no less then paramount blasphamy.

but throwing molotov cocktails at the Dansih and EU ambassies? risking the lives of those who were not responsible and cannot do anything about the situation?
This is absolutely absurd. Does not any sense of logic tell u that this form of aggresion will only spurr more hatred toward ur people and, YES, ur religoin and ur prophet? And of those thousands protesting, how many of them have actually seen that cartoon for themselves?
The government's aggrevation of the situation show utter lack of basic diplomacy and total incompetence in international relations, which brings into their question their ability to deal with govern.

Reading the "have ur say" section of the BBC, i realized that the most recommended comment by the readers were the ones supporting freedom of speech, and rebuking the Muslims for their actions. It really quite superficial if u ask me.

if the reckelssness and mis-use of this freedom of speech leads to insinuating violence and hatred, u r no better then those violent protesters! Insensitivity to such issues show delibarate ignorance to the faith of others.

The most troubling thing that most of the readers mentioned, was the fact that Jesus was numerously ridiculed in cartoons all over the globe, and the Christians never objected like the muslims are. Does that mean that the ridicule of Jesus is right? Sure, u may indirectly be praising the Christians for tolerance,
but are u trying to right a wrong with something that many still consider hurtful?

I think both governments must step in in the name of international apeasement and diplomacy to quell this conflict, and not stubbornly sit behind their office desk, hopeing and insisting that their belief take precedence over the other's. A mutual understanding can be reached.

"With freedom of speech come the responsibility not to deliberately offend." Paul Nash, London.

all for love, a father gave
for only love can make a way.
all for love the heavens cried
for love was crucified.

oh how many times have i broken ur heart
oh how many times have u heard me pray?
draw near to me.

everything i need is u,
my beginning my forever.
everything i need is u.

let me sing all for love.
i will join the angel song.
ever holy is the lord,
king of glory king of all.

All for love, a saviour prayed,
"abba father, have ur way.
Though they know not what they do,
let the Cross draw men to you."
TO YOU!

the attack on the Security Council!

2006-02-03T14:04:00.000-08:00

Thinking back about this made my day that much happier :)

So here it is. The attck on the SC.
So it was the last committee session. And we had half an hour before it was adjurned. And the ASEAN, devious as we are, planned our much anticipated attack on the SC. here was the outline:

1) crush up as much unwanted paper one can find and have it at hand before entering committee room. All excess to be placed in a box and used as stored ammunition. Dispose of it in any fashion onto the delegates and the chairs.

2) Assign one delegate, South Korea, who's main objective is to steal the gavel from the dais's table and run for dear life.

3) Assign three delegates, China, Phili., Thailand, whose main objetive is to direct their firerms at the daises in order to provide cover for South Korea's mission.

3) Assign one delegate, Marko Horvat, to kidnap the Director of the SC in any forceful manner and plant her in the ASEAN committe room.

4)Assign 2 delegates, Malaysia and Japan, to write ransom notes to the SC and another stating, "YOU GOT SERVED BY THE ASEAN!". Malaysia to plant notes behind the Dais's table and visible to all SC members.

5)Go crazy!!!

more vmun fotos

2006-02-03T13:51:00.000-08:00

2006-02-03T13:34:00.000-08:00

argh.. haha.

Sorry u guys had to read the previous post, which was particularly upetting. I didnt realized how upset i was, and maybe still am. But thanks to all u guys who tried to cheer me up. i needed to hear that. :)

Anyways, i'm getting over it now, so yeah. haha.

to God be the glory
great things He has done.
So love He the world
That He gave us His son...

crash... goes my graduation yr

2006-02-02T11:59:00.000-08:00

this is the third bloody time blogger deleted what i wrote on my post... like a 500 word post, and its all gone...

for the third, bloody time..

basically, my day collapsed on me..

i didnt receive the rigg scholarship..

i've bitched enough the last post, unfortunately its been deleted.

thats basically it. the rigg scholarship, is OUT OF MY HANDS, FOLKS!

the one reason why i even did art this year, over the other APs, because i was ASSURED (by my teacher might i add) THAT I WAS GOING TO RECEIVE THE RIGG!

and today at art class, my class mates were like, "hey ivan, did u get the rigg?"

"no, i didnt receive word about it."

"oh, i thought u were gonna get it. i mean ricky pai got it!"

w
t
f

yeah. ricky got it. i didnt. everyone else was expecting me to get it, not just myself.

"so ms oliver, i hear the riggs have been chosen."

"yeah, ricky got it."

didnt respond, just walk away.

"u know why u didnt get it, right?"

stop. try yo hear wat she has to say.

"because its about the time u put into it and the passion that we can see from it. and u've spent too much time on model un. its all about the choices we make right?"

walk away.

NO SHIT! ITS ABOUT THE CHOICES WE MAKE! i chose art over another AP, which would get me into a better university, because u bloody assured me i was going to get it!

...

i'm not going to argue with her, ricky deserves it. Everywhere he goes, he brings his camera with him. most of his time, he's either taking fotos or rendering them on his laptop. That is his passion. and i respect that.

but can i carry a canvas with me where ever i go? can i be painting everything i see? talk about understanding teachers. i know i've missed plenty of classes bacause of model un. but she cant hold that against me! the work i produce, and i can boldly say this, is still better than most of the guys in my grade! She knows it is herself! so i've missed a number of classes because of my other committments, but she shouldne hold that against me... i dunno...

.. choices... art was a TERRIBLE choice to make. damn it.. and i couldve taken another AP course. damn-it.

and it doesnt end there. the district scholarship was basically in my hands as well. ONE GRAND! and i promised my parents that i would get some form of a scholarship while i'm here, and i was assured of it! Everyone knows that the quality of work the past district scholars had is no where as good as the hopefuls this year. and that would include me. i had it! in my hands!

except...

only canadian citizens or PRs are eligible.

yeh... i'm not... i'm on student visa..

so BYE BYE RIGG! BYE BYE DISTRICT SCHOLARSHIP!

i've dissapointed my parents. and i know that. i've promised them these scholarships. i want them to be proud. and i know they are regardless, but i want them to have something to show their friends who cuss at them or sending them children abroad without first aquiring a scholarship. they need something tangible... and it slipped thru my hands

i'm going to graduate this year, all words and nothing to show for it to my parents.

i'm going to graduate with a course that i should have taken, and one less AP in my pocket. A sacrifice not worth taken.

i'm sorry, mom, pa.. i dont know how to explain it..
it feels like some kind of punishment for something that i've done wrong.

but i'm not going to graduate aquiring as many things as i could've.

choices
choices

VMUN rocked my SOX!

2006-01-29T23:42:00.000-08:00

Its been exactly a week since the vancouver model united nations conference. And post-VMUN trauma has yet to be extinguished.

VMUN was one word...

AWESOME !

the ASEAN was executed with such outstanding excellence, no words can explain how proud i am of myself, the other daises and most of all The Delegates for being such fabulous people to work with.

Janeen Madan was my co-director for that committe. She's from mumbai. U, MY FRIEND, IF U R READING THIS, WAS A CRAZY LOAD OF FUN FUN FUN TO WORK WITH!!! (not to mention helped me direct steam off randall. ;P)
Dude, we did it! we conducted an awesome committe!

Chauntez was my Chair on the dais. She's "ba-he-mian" as you would pronounce it. Forgive me if i spelt it wrong! She's from the bohemian islands. CHAUNTEZ, YOU WERE SO DEPENDABLE AND A GREAT INDIVIDUAL TO WORK WITH!

To Randall, Ricky and the other A.Ds, you guys were great fun to have around, and very dependable indeed!

And to any of you delegates reading this (although i know u guys probably dont even know this blog exist)
YOU ARE A BLOODY AWESOME GROUP OF PEOPLE TO HOLD A COMMITTEE SESSION WITH! (with the execption of vietnam that is... kidding) YOU GUYS DID OUTSTANDING AS DELEGATES!

ahhh sigh... i'm so upset its all over now. I miss:

1) the whole stress of planning out crises,

2) finding out in the middle of the way that the person u selected to chair with u was a total pain in the butt to work with,

3) the whole laughing at those delegates who dont know the difference between the International Court of Justice (ICJ) and the International Criminal Court (ICC).

4) finding out that the delegates are using a mostly economic forum to discuss the soverignty of another nation.

5) discussing topic B and coming up with the most RIDICULOUS communiques . haha

Random pic. We were discussing crises.

So about topic B. It was the restructuring of the areas affected by the recent Asian tsunami. dont worry guys, this wont be as long as the previous post.:P

Because we only had 2 hrs left to finish this topic, everyone knew that this com session was going to be a joke, and indonesia told me of his intention of blamng the whole tsunami issue on china.

... and so i played along....

The debates began with a whole lot of laughter as people were just fooling around, but in a diplomatic manner. haha, go figure!

Then i came up with a brilliant idea. I drafted a communique from the chinese government and gave it to the chinese delegate to read to the committee. it goes something like this. :

The government of the peoples republic of china will now openly admit to its possesion of the superweapon responsible for recent asian tsuami, the Chang Chang Big Wave. This superweapon is capable of inducing a tsunami, however, its full capabilities shall remain confidential.

While attempting to test the Chang Chang Big Wave on india, certain technical and environmental difficulties caused it to malfuntion and create an epicenter much larger than predicted and at a unspecified location.

Amidst whis very unfortunate outcome of Chang Chang's malfunction, china beleives that the ultimate outcome has eventaully ended as a benefit to the entire south east asian region. Before the tsunami, the entire Feng Shui of the region was rather unbalanced, as reported by our expert feng shui masters. However, after further analysis, china has discovered that due to the tsunami, the water element has increased, thus stabalizing the water and earth element in the south east asian region.

We strongly believe that the prosperity of the region is bound to ensue in the coming decades.

With this, the entire committee, including the oblivious staff, burst out in histarical laughter. The awesome thing was, that the delegates played along with its, treating it as if it were a crisis. they began discussing "punishing" china for it and the possibility of using the Chang Chang Big Wave for RECREATIONAL purposes!LOL

Then, i had another silly idea. I wrote a communique from the taiwanese government which went something like this. :

After consideration of recent news, Taiwan will now openly admit to having sabotaged the Chang Chang Big Wave.

After our secret intelligence uncovered china's pendng attempt of testing this superweapon, Taiwan decided that it could not expose it to the internatinal community as china will definitely send in troops in retaliation. Thus, sabotage was our only resort.

The Taiwanese government employed the top techincal minds to detect and reroute the satelite communications away from the specific device and connect it to the operator service of Toys R Us, Bombay, thus scramballing its systems and causing its malfunction.

That brought another bout of histarical laughter.

WEll, that is all FOR NOW about vmun, but more will come of it, haha!

Committe foto!

My Delagates! (not all of them)
Beginning from left: Myanmar, Alexey Pazuakha (Japan), Duff (Veitnam), Tom (North Korea), Abigail (China), Ann (malaysia), Malaysia, Cambodia, Thomas (Taiwan), Nigel (Philippines), Rufina (Phili), Indonesia, Singapore, Indonesia, India, Singapore.

Deep discussion during unmoderated caucus.

Tom Sun (North Korea), Jeff Yip(India), Me!
Tom is from beijing and has been mu buddy for a long time. He was my partner at last yr's vmun, i was kinda mentoring him. And guess wat! we awarded him Best Delagate this yr! we was a really good north korea, especially in representing such a volatile country.

Alexey Pazukha and Eugene Lau. The delegates of Japan. Alexey is from Ukraine, pretty cool aye?

Stay tunes folks for more vmun foto updates!

2006-01-11T17:26:00.000-08:00

WOW!

I never really realized how utterly boring my previous two or three posts were! i mean like honestly, how many of you, assuming anyone at all is reading this, actually completely read through those posts? huh!

well, i still find them interesting. anyways, this blog is for ME and ME ONLY to collect my memories, and for those occasional few who wants to know wats going on.

remember, curiosity KILLED THE CAT! (dum dum dum!)

so random..

anyways, school just started like 3 days ago and its hasnt been nearly as bad as i thought it was going to be. And good/bad news, Vancouver MUN is next week! and being the director of ASEAN, my fellow daises and i have been frantically trying to concox crises for the comittee. But that God, i think we've come up with brillian crises.

Not to worry, dears, i will abstain from elaborating on them and spare you the misery of reading them.

i will, of course, elaborate on them on a later date once post-mun trauma have hit me. HARHARHAR...

but just a hint, me and the director of the Arab League are going to have a joint crisis. So ASEAN and AL are going have a mid-night crisis where they have to work with each other, cool no?

coolios.

praise Him for his provisions!..

2005-12-14T23:55:00.000-08:00

so yeah, just got back from Boston last night, 1140 pm.
I'm still suffering from post-harvardmun trauma(excitment)

I have to say, other than the intense debates, there were a number of pretty fun and silly experiences too! :)

So anyways, in the International Court of Justices, the judges have to wear robes for every session. And in as professional a conference as harvard mun, each of us in the ICJ were made to where the robes for our session, and were allowed to where them out as well.

Every mun has its own traditions in terms of the last 2 hrs of committee session, where the delegates get to do silly things. And in Harvard, and by right every other mun, Justices from the ICJ are to receive standing ovasions and a short time to speak when they enter any committee at anytime. This is done in the real UN as well. So all the justices in this committee have been planning to do prance into as many committees as we could the last 10 min of the court sessions. And at the last day, we executed our plan.

Little did we know how bad that would back-fire.

So the 9 of us, (the rest of the 13 were not present, some of them were disqualified),eagerly walked down the hallways to decide on which committees to walk into. And because this was the last committe sessions, many of them were in voting procedure, and we were not allowed to enter. But after a while, we decided to enter one of the largest committes, Disarmements and Security, in order to receive the most amount of applause. But when we walked in, the delegates were so clueless as to why these guys in robes were prancing through the committee session and standing in front of everyone. But as a procedure, the dais asked everyone to stand and applaud. But what we got was jeering and puzzled coutanances. haha, and when we were asked to speak , we had nothing to say. then the dais simply went, "thank you judges for the visit, now LEAVE MY CHAMBERS!" haha, we were so ambarrased that we were chased out like that.

So the next stop was the the UNICEF. We decided that that was a smaller committee and that they would be more respectful to us. But this was even worse. This time, NO ONE stood, and instead, some one shouted, "look! the justices are standing for us!" how ambarrasing. But the worst part was, the dais was especially cruel to us. He made sure that no one stood or applauded for us. And when we shamefully left the roome we were literally ATTACKED by the Chinese Circus! That was really funny. The chinese circus is formed by the delegates of the Chinese Politburo as tradition after they finish the topics at hand. What happened was, they held up the china flag and used it as a blockade to prevent us from entering our court and threw paper and cups while firing their toy guns at us!

which i have to say was an accurate rendition of the scene, because the toy guns were probably made in china and so were the cups.

Haha yeah, well, i think i'm probably gonna post once more about HMUN and that would probably be it. so yeah! praise God :)

Harvard MUN update!

2005-12-12T22:59:00.000-08:00

well, its 2:36 am now in boston and the conference officially ended yesterday at 2:00pm. Man! i have sooo much to say about the committee this year, but i'm soo lazy to type. ok, i'll try to do so anyways.

So anyways, i left for Harvard last wednesday morning. It was really crazy, really, because less then a month ago i was in Stanford MUN. And when i returned, i had less then a week to prepare for the exams. Then after the week of exams, there was another week of exams revision and stuff and then i had to leave for Harvard. I have to say that this past month or so has been the most STRESSFUL month yet at Saints.

I was supposed to have my position paper for France done a month before the conference, but because of Stanford and exams i couldnt do it! Man, little did i know of how freakin essential it was to have had more than enough research done for the conference! I basically only had like 3 days before the conference to actually research my topics before i left for boston. PLUS, the week before the exams, i was busy preparing for art university interviews, other university applications and the art sale. Thats was so crazy. while the other guys in the boarding house were like slacking and waiting for the holidays to approach, i left for UBC as soon as i returned from school and went to the law library to research my documents till late. AHHH!! haha, anyways, i really enjoy doing these kinds of things. dont ask me why.

so anyhow, my topics for the Internatinal Court of Justice were:

a) France V Congo
Certain criminal proceedings in France against certain Government officials of congo for the human rights violation. This was a really interesting topic. i have to say, that of the 5 MUN conferences that i have ever been to, this topic was by far the most complicated and difficult topic to discuss. The basic background is as such: President Nguesso of congo has been arrested on France territory when he travelled there for a diplomatic trip. And France issued an arrest warrant to arrest him and his other ministers for charges on crimes against humanity. Simply put, the genocide in Congo has been the worst genocide the world has ever seen, numbering to more than the deaths caused by WW2. Well, most of the deaths were caused by the belgian colonial rulers, but when they passed the autonomy of the country to France, and then to the locals, huge civil war broke out. Nguesso was on the the leaders of the three militias that killed so many.Anyways, to cut the story short, the whole debate now was between congo's claim for diplomatic immunity while france asserts universal jurisdiction on this case. and how convinient! i was france on this court! haha. anyways, the thing with the ICJ is that everything that we do and every "desicion" that we pass can only revolve around already existing treaties and conventions regarding this issue. this was such a big change to the skills that i have already aquired in other committees before when i used the arguements of morals and logic to make desicions with little consideration to existing documents. I was sooo unprepared! when i entered the court session, every other judge had an avergae of 17 cm thick of pure documents, while i only had about 4. it was so intimidating.

So anyhow, the complication arose when France used the UN convention on torture and genocide to justify its use of universal jurisdiction. The conventions does state that every country has the obligation to assert its jurisdiction onto violators of crimes against humanity, be it in or out of their domestic jurisdiction. The Geneva convention also states the same. However, Congo never signed and ratified any of these treaties. Plus, under the Vienna convention which congo DID ratify and predates these conventions, all head-of-states do enjoy diplomatic immunity. So it was really complicated.

So the fical verdict is as such: Ever justice(accept for one) voted on favour of the Congo, only bacause of the unfortunate circumstance of the legal documents at hand. however, the court was splt into 3 large split opinions. The first being that universal jurisdiction is only a matter of concept and absolutely cannot be applied in this case. However, the court urges the congolese legislature to waive the immunity or the ICC to waive the immunity. My camp also voted in favour of the congo. HOWEVER, we do still support universal jurisdiction as a binding international customery law as stated in the treaties and conventions. We stated that it was essntially LEGAL for france to issue the arrest warrent as it was merely fulfilling its domestic and international obligation. However, it would NOT be legal for France to carry out or convict the incumbent in its domestic court, because that would be in violation of the customary law of diplomatic immuinity.

b)Nicaragua V Colombia
Territorial disputes over the islands of Providencia, St Andres and Santa Catalina in the pacific. I specialized in the previous topic because that affected me more than this topic. But anyhow, the background is as such: Columbia and Nicaragua signed a treaty more than 60 yrs ago, giving Columbia jurisdiction over the islands. However, 50 yrs later, Nicaragua now claims the island to be rightfully theirs and claims the treaty of Barceness Esguerra treaty to be void. Their arguement is that they were forced to sign the treaty under the pressure of the US presence in the region. And is you look at the whole maritime boundries of the region, colimbia actually has a ridiculously large portion of the ocean which stretches so unfairly close to nicaragua. Plus, the locals of the island voted in favour of being under nicaraguen jurisdiction than columbian. Plus, columbia militarized the islands to the extent that it intruded into the livelyhood of the locals. The complication is that under the Vienna Convention of the Law of the Treaties, nicaragua is legally allowed to prove the treaty void if and only if they can prove coercion at the time the treaty was signed. Unfortunately, there has been no significant evidence to prove this and the US military forces withdrew from the region in 1928 and the treaty was signed in 1930. unfortunately, they cannot utilized this convention to prove their case. Other justices in the court wanted to use other documents like the UN convention on the law of the sea, which is actually predated by the esguerra treaty, and the convention on the continental shelf, which weas not ratified by nicaragua. So there is this huge complication of the issue, on whether or not we could use the mordern documents, which the vienna convention says might takes precendent over this bilateral treaty.

The final verdict is as such: The court was split into essential 2 majority desicions and one decenting opinion. Most were in the camp that voted in favour of columbia, but still used other modern documents to make another maritime boundry between the 2 countries. As for my camp, we also voted in favour of columbia, but left the maritime boundry at the 82nd maridian bacause we felt that it is not under the jurisdiction of the court to draw another maritime boundry as this violates the treaties and conventions at hand. the other decenting opinion was only endorsed by this one very very weird justice who basically only used the UN charter as grounds for claiming the treay void and giving self-determination to the islands, which till this day i find very very stupid and impractical.

Harvard MUN is THE craziest and most complex mun in the world. The students who go to this mun go there to try to impress the university and give them a little advantage in getting into this university. I dont however. The top schools in the world goes to this conference. Needless to say, I saw RJC and Hwa Chong in the conference. But unfortunately, not to sound arogant, neither of their delegates were good enough to be in the my committe, the ICJ. ahah! so yeah

But you know, it was really tough. This is my first real conference that i did not actually receive an award. It was really difficult. The justices in my committe were such excellent and outstanding legal thinkers, i was in awe of them. Because of my lack of research, many of my points were rebutted by the other justices. But i praise God that at least i'm not the worst ones on the committee. If anything, this conference has renewed and increase my love for studying law and maybe one day becoming a diplomate. I would really love that. Haha...

ok well, my roomates are about to sleep soon. "troy" is almost over. So good night and i'll update soon!

absolutely and IRREVOCABLY

2005-12-04T23:48:00.000-08:00

This weekend has been the most powerful weekend for me thus far. It started off as a crazy and very stressful weekend. Simply put, i broke the law. And was caught doing so and involved others too. But it ended off great.

I have been driving myself back and forth school and around vancouver since 2 years ago.Something in me has been saying that this isnt the right thing to do, that i'm breaking the law. But i just brushed it aside thinking that my brother has been doing the same and that i wanted to spare my aunty the trouble of chaufering me around all the time. Anyways, i would be getting my N once i return from the holidays, and since i leave vancouver in a week.

Anyways, saturday morning, i was finally on my way to row with a crew, i was sooo excited to finally be able to do so. So i got up early and as usual, i drove myself to stanly park. But this morning went wrong. Lets just say i rear-ended a car in front of me which caused a chain reaction to the next car and basially rendered my aunt's car illegal to drive with. I know that this has nothing to do with my skill because i have been driving for ages now. It had to do with the situation i was in. Dont want to elaborate now.

Anyways, it was crazy, the guy i rear-ended was pretty pissed at it. He got out and was screaming his head off and the other car too. When it was time to exchange contacts, i realized i was driving without a lisence!oh man! anyways i had an Learners liscense and was restricting from driving alone. So it may have been a good thing that i didnt carry my lisence. However, they could have called the police.Man!

to cut the story short, i was in a HUGE load of s#$t. It was terrible. The car was really wrecked. like REALLY. Fortunately the other cars werent. For the rest of the weekend, i was just continually praying to God for forgiveness and a miracle for this situation. I knew that if the other 2 drivers were going to report for insurance, i would have a criminal record. I just kept praying and asking for forgiveness.It was tough. really bad.

But then i realized, that was exactly wat God wanted! This is exactly the type situation that i needed, spritually! I mean,i have been back sliding since who-knows-when. I havent been regularly praying to God. Only when i felt like it. QT seemed to distant to my vocabulary. I was really going down hill with my prayers to God. Because of this situation, I was MADE to pray with an earnest and truthful heart like i havent done in a loooong time. I feel as if this is a Wake up call for me. As if i've been tooo engrossed in my own life that i havent had time for God. Now this will change things!

Just an hour ago i was in the shower, prostrating myself to Him and crying out to Him to change this situation. And i've decided that i have moved so far away from Him that i am going to approach Him now as if i were a new believer. Someone sinful who has just discovered God. So I decided that i was going to start my QT material from Day 1.

Then, just before i began tagging, i read "my utmost for His highest", January 1st. Day one. I wanted to begin anew.

And u know what!God is amazing! As i was reading, practically everything was speaking to me! the last paragraph says this:

But before we chose to follow God's will, a crisis must develope out lives. This happens because we tend to be unresponsive to God's gentle nudges.... He then providentially produces a crisis where we have to decide, for or against. that moment becomes a great crossroad in our lives. If a crisis has come to you on any front, SURRENDER YOUR WILL TO JESUS ABOSOUTELY AND IRREVOCABLY.

God is simply amazing. He got me while i am my BUSIEST. Its like a powerful alarm ringing me up from my slumber. Praise Him in the highest!

... my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing, i shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body whether by life or by death."
Philipians1:20

take my worlds apart

2005-12-04T22:20:00.000-08:00

More and more i need you now
i owe u more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
i gave up not so long ago

so steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things i cannot hide

take the beauty take my fears,
my sinful soiled heart,make it pure
take my world, its Urs,
take it now, take it now!

to serve the ones that i dispise
speak the words i cant deny
watch the world i used to know,
fall to dust and blow away

i look beyond the empty Cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and all the tears that stil remaintake my world apart...
i pray...
oh, i pray..

2005-11-28T20:34:00.000-08:00

haha, i have just been ENLIGHTENED today.

Nurse Parker was giving out free flu jabs today. And i know that the boarding house is always spreading really horrible illnesses, especially after Chistmas. And NO, i am not refering to any kind of STDs whatsoever. so i went to get a jab.

I've always takened injections, this is my second one this month. In fact, i kinda like the adrenaline rush that comes with it. I know thats kinda weird haha, but anyways, this time, i actually went, "ouch!" when she jabbed me. I dont remember ever having to say that whenever i got a jab.

Nurse Parker: Oh, I'm sorry, ivan!

Ivan: haha, no problem ma'am.

NP: Its just, your skin is just so thick! Oh my! its the thickest skin i've jabbed the whole night!

(mind you, she just jabbed a whole floor of boys before me.)

Haha. So mom, now you know that what you have been saying is true, I AM THICK SKIN! haha

greeeeeeeeeeeen..

2005-11-27T16:25:00.000-08:00

yup, decided to change the skin of my blog. pretty darn nice, doncha think?

cool...

so anyhow, exams ended 2 days ago!...
somehow i dont feel as free as i really should be. maybe, just maybe, its cuz i didnt study as hard as i should have?? hmmm, well, only the results would tell.

Yeah its like 17 more days till i get back to Sinjapour!yeah... thats how one of my friends in school pronounces singapore. sin-ja-pour.

so yeah, i dunno man, this week is gonns pretty darn hactic. lets see what needs to be done before i leave for sinjapour?

1)start the businesses in EntrePrise ASAP!
2)boarding house tuck shop.
3)uni apps?!
4)damn it ivan! just finish up ur position paper for harvard mun wont u! its already like a month late!
5)begin rowing at the club. *fingers crossed*

i think thats gotta be it. but knowing myself, i probably left something out.

yeah, well, gotta go pick up matthew from his party. cya

blogthings .

2005-11-25T00:51:00.000-08:00

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a firestorm - full of intensity and drama.
Your thoughts may seem scattered to you most of the time...
But they often seem strong and passionate to those around you.
You are a natural influencer. The thoughts you share are very powerful and persuading.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

this is sooooo funny, haha! Japan, here i come!!

You Are a Kogyaru!

If it's cute, you'll wear it. Fake and bake, hair bleach, and bright makeup line your bathroom cabinet.
As for clothes - anything that's short and cute ("kawaii!").
You are the prize object of all sorts of men - but you are really looking for a rich foreign guy.
He'll find you out hanging out in Shibuya shopping at the 109, text messaging and sending photos over your cellphone.

What's Your Japanese Subculture?

Haha this is really corney too. (note my job prospects!)

What Your Underwear Says About You

When you're bad, you're very bad. And when you're good, you're still trouble!

Your idea job: gigolo. Or naked cowboy.

The Underwear Oracle

To some of u, this may answer some of ur questions:

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

sorry cho, hmm... well...

2005-11-21T23:28:00.000-08:00

dont i feel evil today? haha. sorry cho, but i just have to do it.

hehehe *evil laughter*{little finger pointed to the lower left hand corner of the lip}

Brian Cho, one of my closer friends at school. Korean and really nutty, haha.
he just took my camera, set the flash on high, and took all these pictures himself, harhar.

2005-11-21T23:00:00.000-08:00

Well, government and politics exam tmr at 8:15 am and math 12 exam after that at 2:15 pm. But i dont know why, i just feel like blogging. haha. hmmm. and i feel really really unfit, like i really haven't been exercising at all although i know i really should be, blah.

MISS ROWING SO VERY MUCH!!.

this was in one of the regattas that i so miss. I'm the only asian in that boat. i'm seated on the front,stroke seat.

this was in the same regatta i was in a different boat. it's an 8 this time. I'm second from the left. i was stroking the boat with nathan. It was a prety funny story actually.

aaron, one of my rowing mates. but since then, the both of us have quit rowing. its really sad, i miss rowing with these guys.blah...

I'm hoping to join this rowing club soon once exams and harvard mun are over. But its a pretty long drive away. i dont know how i'm gonna manage.

but i have to start rowing again. i just have to...

tag, ur it!

2005-11-16T17:42:00.000-08:00

Well before i begin tagging, its just nice to review what has happend the last week.
Stanford mun was awesome. Mike paulus got best delegate on special political com., Marko Horvat got oustanding delegate on the UN developmen program, Sami Ahmad got oustanding as well on the social humanitarian com and I got oustanding as well on the security council. Mikes little brother, Clint, really should have gotten an award too, but things got really wrong and he didnt receive anything. He was on NATO. Well, as a delegation, we won the best delegation award. its the 2nd time i've gotten it in stanford, yay! Praise God!

Haha, well, this s done especially for dennis.

the rule of this game is that i have to tag 5 random things bout myself and then list 5 people i would like to do the same. so here goes:

1) i'm really into politics and economics at the moment. i only really discovered this desire when i entered saints, my current school. model united nations conferences are one of my outlets, and i love every minute of it. As a Christian, i hope to make a change in both the secular as well as the religious world in the future.

2)I absoultely love travelling. I am all for that. unfortunately, i'm gonna have to make enough money in the future to support such a costly hobby, unless of course i work for a company that will PAY for my travelling!haha, that'll be the life...

3)I've only recently discovered my love for art, more specifically in painting, carborundm prints and photography.i have actually taken pictures of my more significant peices at the moment but i do have a number of photographs i'm rather proud of. here they are:

this was in taken in an island off vancouver. beatiful scenery

this was in tokyo, japan.some of u may be more familiar with cos-play?

this was one of the exhibits in de young museum in san fran.

yeah, so here ae some samples.

4)I love rowing, but i dont know why i never get the opportunity to do it again after i quit the school team last year. I dunno its kinda like a love-hate realationship. i have no more time for it now, but i really want to get onto the water again and row. and rowing singles really really stink. i far prefer the 8s. well, i dunno, i'm pretty excited to get back to singapore for NS and join a rowing club there. and possibly row competetively, since there are sooo few rowers in singapore. but its up to God's plans!

5)I am currently in an all boys school. can anyone tell me how sad i am?! after i graduate from saints i will haev another 2 yrs in NS,which will mean that by then, i would have been in an all boys institution since grade 1 till i'm 20 yrs old!?! well, just so u guys know, haha. and yes, i've never had a gf.

SC ROCKS!!!

2005-11-12T23:23:00.000-08:00

wow, i havent actually realized how incredibly fun it is to be on the security council in stanford mun. if sopme of u dont know i'm currently in Palo Alto at standford university at an MUN.

I have reaslized how much the challenge of the security council has soooo much revitalized me. I LOVE IT! i would actually consider being a foreign diplomat as a job prospect. its great. trying to find ways to solve world crises fosters the most awesome feeling ever!

haha, well, anyways, i love facing the challenge of ths sc so much... so yeah, haha

cool

2005-10-24T23:27:00.000-07:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!

You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz

may my life song sing to u

2005-10-24T23:08:00.000-07:00

Yup, yet another boring weekend. Was only working on my SAT prep and realized then i need work on my critical reading section. Didnt do so well on that part.

So i've found out something very interesting over the weekend. My mom has found out how to access my blog!

HI MOM!

Now i cant say all the derogatory comments on my blog now.Haha, kidding mom. u know i love you!

ouch

2005-10-13T11:10:00.000-07:00

man... this week has been really crazy. I started off the school year doing really well... and then i dont know waht happened, like i'm doing really badly now. its so horrible. In the latest math test, i received a 2.5 out of 9!?! wat the... i'm positive that that is the worst mark in the whole class. Even this guy in class who used to look up to me in math in grade 10 and asked me plenty of questions is like serving me in math. why am i doing so badly? its not that i didnt study or anything. i know for a fact that i did. and its not that the tests and quizes were difficult. i knew how to do it! but why cant i just perform during my tests? i wasn't nervous or anything...what is happening man. and this is my grad year. sigh... i dont know, but i think i might not actually get into boston u. I have to keep working my butt off the rest of the year, and i thought i had a great start this year, how dissapointing. I really dont know what to do.. its not that the material is difficult or anything! and i really hope that i'm not overloading myself with course work. i have no spares and 2 aps. graduating with 6. I still dont understand why i'm doing so badly, well, not all that bad, maybe i can get an average of 85% this mid term. But man! in saints, thats really crap!

Wow, when i was reading debra's blog, i wished i could have been there at her school. pearson college looks like a load of fun. even though studies might be more difficult there, the culture and the student life there is definitely less cut-throat, and i can atually bother about things more impotant in life.

Well, thats enough of complaining right now, have to go to my other class now.. oh well, fingers crossed!

weight of the world

2005-10-09T14:19:00.000-07:00

Heya.. well its been a really long time since i last posted anything. And really i didnt expect to be doing it right now. But i have to really get something written down right now. Where others i know, who are close to me, would read. Its something that has troubled me for a really long time, but its only been today that it has been made extremely apparent to me, and its only really today that i've found how devious and deceitful the evil one can be, even to those are are elderly and looked up to as wise.

Today i went to my cousin's church at dunbar heights. Its a united church. I didn't think much of it, as long as i go somewhere where other christians take refugee in too. But when i set down at the chair and looked through the weekly bulletin, i saw something that really really jumped out at me. There was a council meeting at the church that was going to discuss allowing same-sex marriges. I've heard before that the bishop of the unted church in canada had already allowed same-sex marriges, but i took for granted those faithful chistians in the church who would oppose such blasphemy.

And so after the service, we went into the gym to have some tea and talk to some of the members of the church, and so i was introduced to this lovely lady, mary brown. She is delightfully youthful, even in her 60+ yr old physique. So i asked her what she thought of this issue, believing that her age and long christian life would strictly oppose this. But little did i know how wrong i was to expect such things from elderly christians.

I was blown away by how she supported such things, saying that homosexuals are born that way. and when i actually gave her bible references to why God opposes homosexuality as a sin, she merely said that the bible was written 2000 yrs ago and that that was taken into contacts of the culture of that day! wow! and when i asked her about the projected verdict of the council meeting, she says that she sees no reason why the church wouldn;t allow such marriges, she said that she sees no reason why the church would say no! She even went on to say that everyone has been born with certain sexual orientations and that that is all in the image of God! WHAT?! oh God forgive them for they do not know what they have done! And when i told her that i was a methodist, she says that the united church has been doing more thinking than the methodist and other denominations, and therefore are are united with only the basis of love and justice,and that all the other doctrines and believes are arbitrary. doing more thinking? what? how do you quanitfy "doing more thinking"? What kind of judgement are these kind of people making? I was really really upset with what she saud, but of course i did make a nice and friendly facet. But really, inside of me, and till now, i was crying out to god and asking for why such faithful christians would be so easily deceived by the evil one. Then in the middle of the conversation, i couldnt take it any more, i excused myself, ran out of the church and hid in the car. I cried for the first time in the really long time. And i think that those who are close to me would know why this issue meant so much to me that i had to cry. And till now, thinking back to what that lovely old lady say to this issue, really made me sad.

Oh Lord, take off this weight of the world, and let my life be a real testimony!

to be continued...

2005-09-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

here are some pictures that happend since Sep 7

The two kids who live on the first flour. my housemaster's kids

posing for "weird" magazine

2005-09-11T17:32:00.000-07:00

YAY! i've uploaded my first picture on the blog haha!cool. love my cell group.

back to school... sigh and whoopi

2005-09-07T13:39:00.000-07:00

yeah yeah, i heard ya! i do realize that i havent posted anything new in like a month, but thats because i was GENUINELY busy. like honestly, and i know there are some of you out there who thinks that i have too much free time in my hands during the summer. haha, but really, here's a recap of what happened in summer so far.

1) sydney, Hillsongs Conference, stayed with dennis chan. (miss you and melissa and ur mom to pieces)

2) Indenoesia. stayed in surabaya with family and then went to beautiful Bali. Oh gosh, my favourite place in the world. great time surfing, but feel so damn tired after that. then went back to surabaya again.

3) Finally, work. Hard rock cafe. wow, greatest place to work. Miss my collegues , karen, sam, ss, fadlee, jazz, all you guys... amazingly fun place to learn customer service,cashier, buisness from an employee point of view.Had a whole lot of fun.

So there, but bye bye summer! gosh... back to this school again. But i look forward to it. to getting over and done with it! but really, if there is anything about the school year that i am actually looking forward to, that would be seeing God move in this place. in the youths especially. I really pray that God will move His spirit in this place in His time. Whether i am around or not, but it would be nice if i were around to see it.

Well, that is about all for now. try to post next time!

sydney is soo awesome... but guess what GOD IS SOOOO MUCH MORE AWESOME!!!

2005-07-11T06:09:00.000-07:00

ok.. so its been like a really long time since i blogged. but here are the highlights of what i've done during the summer so far:

1)HILLSONGS CONFERENCE!*

2)gave dennis chan a really good surprise.

3)got to grow alot closer to God and stuff

Thats basiclally the 3 most important things that i've done so far. there are other ini-bidi details that i've left out. like meeting up with kim, shadrach, jill, jo and.... other people.. oh yes, and passion AC too. well, i praise God for all the things that He's shown me the last week. His love's just so awesome, i dont know how in the world to explain it. i just want Him to use me in whatever way He wishes to right now.

it waz actually really interesting. a couple of days ago waz the last night rally of the 4 day conference and i waz sooo fired up for God, which is how i'm supposed to b all the time. and then melissa ,amz and i got onto the train to head back home. the train waz pretty packed and all , so we had to share seats with these two aboriginal girl. they seemed pretty decent, apart from the lip ring and all. then i figured that since i'm sitting next to them i might as well evangelise to them right? i mean after that firey conference, its time i actually DO something about the kingdom of God. and if i dont, i'll regret it. and wats more, if i dont try the night of the rally, who's to say i will in the future? so i decided to talk to them.

i remembered the girl sitting across of me waz melody and the girl next to me waz taviar. they were really nice and i began the conversation with jokes and some aussie stuff. it waz really cool. then i broke into it.

"do u know who Jesus is" i said. they both nodded. adn giggled a little bit. "so do u belive in Him?"

"yeah well, i used to go to church. but this girl ruined my faith for me." replied the girl sitting next to me.

" really? how so?"

" i dunno. its just that she said something about my race and how i'll never get to heaven because of what i've done." she waz getting pretty uncomfortable recalling this and i didn't want to pressure her anymore.

" well, yah. i know how its like. sometimes there are so people who say that they are Christians and yet they dispise other in the way Jesus would frown upon. like, i remember how one of my muslim friends told me that a Christian guy just went up to him and said straight in his face 'how does it feel going to hell?' in a very matter-of-fact kinda of way. these people really cannot represent our faith in this way. it isnt right at all." With this, melody and taviar nodded in agree ment, but still looked rather uncomfortable talking about it. so then i went into talking about things in where they live and all. then i went beack into it after we had a coule of good laughs.

" so have u tried going to one of those churchs?" they nodded. " well, i can see how that experience with the girl was so awful. but u know, i think u should try giving God another chance again. I mean, from my personal experince, its not easy getting to know Him. But once u do, i mean, He's just to AWESOME! like its unbelievable. you can go though the same burdens that u are going through now with His hand lifting u up every time. and u know what? after u accept this awesome God and what His son did for u, ur life is gonna be transformed in an awesome way."

(i didnt realize how many times i said awesome but that seemed to be the closest word i could honestly use to describe Him and what He's done in my life. LOVE U LORD!)

so with that, Mel Amz and i reached our stop and we had to leave. i shock their hands one last time and ended with "remember! Jesus loves u!" and with that, they giggled and bid me farewell.

it was honestly a precious moment for me. and i belive God feels the same way for Himself too. i mean, this is the first time i've ever evangelised to total strangers, let alone people who aren't from my homeland. I know i need alot of improvement on evangelism, like i know i should've emphasized more on how Jesus loves them and died for them. But i think God appreciates what i've done. And what ever it is, i know that the seed has been planted into the soil. I can only pray that melody and tavier would take a step toward Jesus, cuz He will take a 100 steps toward us like how the father ran toward the prodigal son.

one thing i've learn at this conference is that the most evangelised place on earth is the Church. We all need, under the great commision, to go out into the river and cast our nets where fishes are of abundence.

and i will leave all people who call themselves born again Christians with this.

The Heaven's rejoices' resound louder when one lost sheep goes back to the Lord then when the 99 worship amongst themselves.

herro again

2005-06-06T11:18:00.000-07:00

ok.. soo i'm bloging twice in one day...or rather in an hour. haha. so just one sentence.

gushy stinks.

ok actually he doesnt. but he's pretty ... yeah, thats it, he's pretty. haha. he's the guy who lives right acroos from me. he's from the cayman islands, pretty cool guy.

harro... cant wait toget to singapore

2005-06-06T11:09:00.000-07:00

well, its been some time since i blogged, but nothing really exciting happened since i poste dthe last time.... nothing except for the crazy UNITED LIVE CONCERT! yes,indeed, it was crazy alright. haha, there was so much like... spirt,man. it was awesome. haha.

anyways, singapore seems so close,yet so far. i can smell the mee pok da and the fish head curry and the goo bak kway teow and the... ok, i'll stop there.haha... but then again, really sets in and i'm only gonna be back in like a month. or 1/12th a year. which is pretty damn long... sigh. haha. well, yes.

okok. i havent got anything else to say now. GB

I GOT A UNITED LIVE CD! ... which i kinda left in the car and would really like to listen to it now

2005-05-16T22:16:00.000-07:00

dont quite feel like blogging now actually. but i'm still driven to thank dennis chan for being such a freakin good friend, which by the way makes me look like a really bad friend, haha...

so what happened was last saturday i went back home to my aunt's house and kinda just lazed around, not doing much... then my aunt just sudenly remembered that i received a mail, and i kinda brushed it aside cuz i've been receiving university mail from the most desprate universities i've never even heard of. But when i looked at the mail and saw that it was from sydney australia, i KNEW it was from dennis... it was soooo unexpected! a pleasent surprise wouldnt even cut it for how surprised i was. But what surprised me even even even more, waz that it came with the new united live cd! talk about a friend who knows me soo well, even though he's half way around the world. I went mad, even before i opened the envelope. I was running all over the house like a mad man. My cousin was like," koko ivan, u have issues."

haha. well, thank God for a friend like dennis, its really not just about receiving mail from him, but most importantly for how he and his sister, melissa, have helped me grow strong in my faith. our past runs deep. Actually, the beginning of our friendship was really the beginning of my relationship with Christ. So it i think it really says something...

ok dennis, i think i've buttered u up way more then enough, haha...

APs are over y'all !*

2005-05-12T19:22:00.000-07:00

ok. ignore the "y'all". just trying to add a bit of black language for entertainment purposes. haha. well, just finished the APs today... gosh, feel ike dying like right now. i wanna sleep so bad, cuz straight after the APs i had to go for sailing... blah.. unfortunately its supposed to be prep time... >(.. so anyhow, i'm pretty damn happy i dont have to really bother about economics for the rest of my high school career anymore. haha. so thats good right?

yesterday, my one yr old laptop dieded on me. and YES aaron, i delibrately spelt "died" as D-I-E-D-E-D. so anyhow, when i turned on my laptop, my screen just froze for a minute and went blank. then my desktop went blue with a " security warning: you've got some blah blah trojan horse blah blah virus in your computer"... and the worst thing was, 6 new icons popped up on my computer and files. They were "online gameing, online pharmacy, free mobile phone, free scanner thingy"... and ..." online dating!?" like what the H!$%&! the worst thing was that adrian mai was watching me attempt to fix the retarded computer, and he and brian ino saw the online dating thing and thought i actually do online dating!!! do i seem that bloody desperate?! oh my cow!...

... these trojan horse people think their so damn funny...

wellz. enough of the stupid computer.

at least i have an excuse to go get a new one ;)

the stupid boiler isnt boiling enough... says simon

2005-05-08T21:52:00.000-07:00

so i'm supposed to be studying for psychology now... but what am i doing?posting on my blog and being lazy... sigh... simon says to go and cry.But i shal resist. Oh! and i have to prepare a freakin 15-20 line soliloquy... Is that how u spell that bugger? s-o-l-i-l-o-q-u-y? ah, what the hack.. anyhow, i have to prepare one from hamlet and recite it in class. in character. with costumes. and bloody makeup if i have to. sometimes i dread having a drama teacher to teach me english. haha. oooh wellz. okok... better do some last minute internet surfing before i go back to the books!

turra
*as debrah taught me*

bored before the APs

2005-05-05T21:18:00.001-07:00

OK so its been like, what, 3 months since i last posted something? haha, yes i know... and it has come to my attention by undisclosed people (adrian, simon and aaron) that i have had countless numbers of spelling errors in my last post... the one i posted 3 months ago... yes that one...so i will try my best to spell properly this time, haha.

so AP exams are like next week already. But thats not the end of it man, after the APs, i have to sit for final exams a few weeks later! (for the singaporean people who are reading this and are unfamiliar with the Canadian education system [and i doubt many of my singaporean friends are even reading this] the Canadian system of examinations is really weird) so anyhow, i'm really excited to go back to singapore anyhow. haha... well, i guess thats enough for now... till next time! (maybe a month or two later... but who knows :)

bored before the APs

2005-05-05T21:18:00.000-07:00

2005-02-23T16:49:00.000-08:00

Test test. Trying to put a pic on my blog.

FINALLY POSTING

2005-02-21T22:12:00.000-08:00

2-21

okydoky.... so, if it wasnt for aaron low, i wouldnt be this bothered to post anything on my blog... haha, thanks aaron. Yup, for those who even know about this blog, it means that you are the closest and dearest to me, cuz its only these people who i bother to inform about the blog. so, vancouver is going fine, and i am managing. i'm heading to NY MUN in about two weeks. its gonna be cool ya. This is the forth week in a row that CF is cancelled. its definiktely a spiritual warefare. But i pray that we God's servants can stay truely faithful, only then can the CF be succesful.

insomnia

2005-01-16T13:44:00.000-08:00

A good pat on my back! this is the second time i've set up a blog. I was too lazy to continue posting on my first blog, so i just got rid of it.