R E V I V A L please ^

It could have been me that took her to the corner to share a moment of intimacy. I saw it coming, but never expected what impact it would have on me. When she whispered to him to indicate her intentions, and when he agreed and took her aside, that was it. The rest of the night was pretty much gone, I seemed to have been sucked into an abyss of confusion at best, and regret at worst.

But is it all worth it? This Cause that is Christ? When earthly dispositions seem to be in endless war with morals and values almost entirely contrary to human instinct? When this battle against pleasure in the only tangible world we know just simply does not make sense where the result is deprivation from such harmless and plainly natural acts?

Faith cannot be the sole reason behind the inhibition prima facie. The majority of the inhibition roots in my discomfort in the intimate pursuit due to inexperience, inexperience due to attempts to upholding the faith. So at its core, it really is the faith that has prevented my enjoyment of this area of life.

Right now, I'm not sure its worth it. But maybe thats why I need the faith, because without, I would never be able to experience a real possibility of returns that far exceed my expectations of my sacrifice.

I need Him to assure me. And to satisfy me. How sinful and useless am I that I need so much to be satisfied.